Scabs on Tour: Daisy Hill Koala Centre

Want to see some koalas without the Lone Pine price tag? Daisy Hill Koala Centre is the place for you. It boasts 2-3 koalas and has been labelled an embarrassment and pretty miserable. Look, you get what you pay for.

The centre is around 25km south of the city so scabs, you’re going to want to organise a free ride/car pool to save on fuel money. I sucked friend of scabby (FOS), Susan, into another outing. Newly anointed FOS’ Joey and Ainsley came along too.

SHOTGUN! Fuck, too slow. 

Be prepared to drive around a while to find a park. I would recommend travelling with someone with more chill than Susan who immediately freaked out when we got sent around the ring road on a carpark hunt. But scabbers can’t be choosers.

We spent about 45 mins walking around the centre, staring at the three koalas and learning koala facts. Here are some highlights:

1. There are other animals at the centre. Due to it’s open roof birds can fly into the central koala enclosure. This is where we met this kookaburra. What a scene stealer!


kook poopin
Wait for it

2. The centre has freebies! As a full-time scab I love a freebie. The koala centre has an all you can drink water fountain. What a great deal!

susan water free
This water gets a thumbs up and a gap-toothed smile

3. If you think koala chlamydia is omnipresent you haven’t met Ranger Tim. You can’t escape him! Old mate Timmo has a lot to say about koalas. Do not try to skip ahead to the next video, he will outsmart you and he will be there.

escape ranger tim

4. You get to pat a koala. JK you get to touch a patch of it’s coarse fur. This left me wondering if there was ever a fourth koala at the centre?

pat the patch.gif

5. Koalas stink. A gentle combo of eucalyptus and koala piss drifts through the centre. It emanates from the male koala’s “dirty patch” on their chests. *1 million wink emojis*

A very good photo

6. Koala’s can get lots of gross diseases. I bet you already knew about koala chlamydia but have you heard about bursitis and all the other gross diseases that were on display but I forgot to take a photo of? Nah, I didn’t think so.

bursitis .gif

7. There’s a lot of koala propaganda. I got some strong ~ Sea World vibes ~ from the information displayed at the centre. Koalas live longer in captivity umm TELL THAT TO TILIKUM WHO IS A DIFFERENT ANIMAL IN A DIFFERENT SITUATION AND IS DEAD AND THIS ANALOGY MIGHT NOT HOLD UP. Never mind, their explanation makes sense.

“Girl, how do you take such straight photos? Teach me!” – Everyone

8. The centre has a guestbook. I was the only one bold enough to suggest adding more koalas. When you visit the centre please say that you heard about it from us. Unless David got to you first.



Beyond the Koalas there are plenty of hikes in the area including the 10km Buhot creek circuit. With our active wear on we decided to tackle the arduous Paperbark Trail.

FOS Ainsley & FOS Susan

The trail weaved through the paperbark swamp.


I was immediately disappointed as it didn’t resemble any swamp I’d ever seen before.


Until… I saw it. Hey Shrek!

hey now you’re an all star

We also discovered this tree nook. Great for portrait posing….

…and smashing your nuts if that’s what you’re into.



Yeah I gif’d it too. You’re welcome, Joey!

That dismount!

Overall, we had a pretty, pretty, pretty good day at Daisy Hill Koala Centre. I’d give it 2 out of 3 captive koalas.



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