Scab Money: Trivia

Guys, I just googled trivia. It’s defined as “details, considerations, or pieces of information of little importance or value.” Wow, goog. Way harsh. Trivia is great. Let me tell you why.

1. You get to argue with your friends. Do you have a friendship that’s going too smoothly? Trivia is a great way to inject some drama into the relationship or just end it entirely. Just last week I yelled at Friend of Scabby (FOS) Joey for foolishly thinking Thorpy’s “fully sick” ads were for Nutri-Grain. When we all know it was Uncle Toby’s! Joey, your knowledge of “Thorpy’s endorsement deals of the ’00s” is fully SHIT!

2. It’s a prime scabbing opportunity. Group activities are great for scabbing food and booze. Have my friends noticed that I’ve only paid for one bowl of wedges in 18 months? Sure. But I’m not about to let a good friend’s slow burning resentment get in the way of some free wedgies. HAHAHAH if you’re reading this guys, I’m just joking. Next bowl’s on me… I promise…hahjkhaha

3. You can win money. Well more likely venue vouchers that expire almost immediately. If you play at a tight arse establishment like I do (where you win individual vouchers and don’t get change ughhhhhh rather than a bar tab) you’ll have to get creative to stretch those dollarydoos as far as you can. My team justifiably gave me a serve for using a $10 voucher on a $9.40 pint of cider. That’s 60c lost that could’ve gone towards cheesy garlic bread. I can only apologise again for my misdeed. Please forgive me teammates.

4. You can cyberbully your friends IRL. Instead of some horrible quiz pun for a team name (quiz in the face can GTFO) try utilising a team member’s name in a mean spirited way. I would recommend choosing a different target each week. There’s a fine line between lowering a friend’s self-esteem and crushing it entirely. (Changing your team name weekly might be a good idea for other reasons too.) Past names we’ve had include: ya suse ya lose, no suse can’t lose, and my least favourite – kate just graduated and needs a job. Every week I am now asked by the host if I’ve found a job yet. You need to apply for a job to get one hahah what an idiot.

5. Most importantly, trivia makes you feel smarter than you are. Trivia gives meaning to all the dumb shit you store in your brain. Where else would my niche ability to recognise Kate Winslet from a photo of a very small portion of her pasty white neck be appreciated? Ok goog, I’ll admit you might have the definition of trivia correct. You got me.

Another insufferable WE WON! photo

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