Scabs on tour: The Sherwood Arboretum

Searching for some fun and free activities to do on the weekend I turned to a list published by Visit Brisbane entitled 44 free things to do in Brisbane. “The city’s most comprehensive list of available options” to travellers on a budget includes vague tips like “take a scenic drive” and “get back into nature”. The hot tips don’t stop there:

Sherwood arboBeing a south-wester, I’ve spent plenty of time at the park arboretum. Does it deserve a place among the exalted “44 free things to do” in Australia’s new world city? I’m not convinced. Bin chickens flock to its stinky pond. Any time it rains, you’re forced into the path of a million baby cane toads crossing from the pond to the river. Everyone who fishes off the boardwalk scares my doggo. Perhaps if I looked at the arboretum anew through the eyes of Visit Brisbane, I might find it list-worthy.

IMG_4673
Bin Chicken

This week I decided to do just that. Pulling on my mom jeans, I headed to the arboretum to re-evaluate the park based on Visit Brisbane’s hot tips:

1. Pack some bread and feed the ducks in the ponds

I arrived at the arboretum, bread in hand, eager to feed some lil quackers. Reaching the pond, I was immediately struck by this sign expressly forbidding said duck feeding.

duck bread snap.png

Wanting to give the Visit Brisbane arboretum experience a real crack, I was tempted to disregard the sign. A friend rightfully slapped some sense into me.

bread oh yeah.gif
RIP bread

2. Throw a line in the water off the jetty

For this next task, I enlisted help from my dear bread-slapping friend, Susan. Without any nosé on hand, we improvised using duck bread to form a line. Susan then “threw” it up her nose off the jetty rail.

nose

As I did not experience this particular park activity I reached out to Susan for her evaluation. nose.jpg

EDIT: I’ve since been informed “throw a line” refers to fishing in this instance. My sincerest apologies. 

3. Roll down a hill

The park features a lot of grassy slopes. Unsure which hill Visit Brisbane was referring to, I tested a few of them out. I persisted, despite my motion sickness thinking that perhaps I wasn’t rolling down the right hill. Might one hill elicit joy where another had not? I am sad to report that this was not the case. The joyless hills of the arboretum merely brought on dizziness and nausea, that I am now reliving as I watch the GIF below.

70frames rollin.gif
Limp Bizkit “Rollin'” plays

4. Simply just laze under a shady tree

I initially thought this activity would be the most straight forward of the bunch. I know how to laze. I’ve lazed before and I’ll laze again. After finding two office chairs under a shady tree I incorporated them into my laze. Now I fear these chairs enhanced my lazing game too much and I may not comply with the “simply” qualifier in the description of the activity. Please, let me know what you think in the comments. Do the office chairs elevate this act of lazing above “simply”?

lazing
Call me La-Z-Boy

Unfortunately, as I have failed to fully adhere to Visit Brisbane’s list of recommended activities I feel I have not accurately seen the arboretum through the organisation’s eyes. As such, I cannot provide an overall evaluation of the park’s list-worthiness. I am sorry to have wasted your time.

 

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